OFF LIMITS!

After attending worship at the 9:30 contemporary service this morning, my daughter and I
headed on over to Walmart while my wife was in a Sunday School class. SinceI had never
been to Walmart at that time of the day on a Sunday, I was shocked to see all the people.
They were coming out of the wood work! They would almost run over you to get where they
were going. If I ever go back on a Sunday, I'm wearing a helmet!
While I didn't walk all over the store, for a man my age who walks with a cane, I walked
enough to wear me down. I was ready to go get my wife and then go get some lunch after all
the fast-track shoppers tried to stomp on my Sunday go - to Church shoes. The next time I
need something, I'm ordering over the internet! As far as I'm concerned, Walmart on a Sunday
is off limits for me! It's a jungle out there!! I think I even saw a couple of monkeys buying
bannanas and a couple of snakes slipping through the asiles after their prey. So, I pray you
don't enter the Twilight Zone. You will get dizzy from doing such a thing on a Sunday. I did!

GETTING AWAY TO GET AWAY

One of the hardest things about taking a few days off for vacation is know what to take and what not to take. If I start packing stuff too early, I find that my wife will come right behind me and
take this or that out of the suitcase or other boxes of things. What amazes me is that she will
take a bunch of things with her that she plans to read or do and most likely will not even get
around to it. There will always be something else to do or somewhere else to go. Before you
know it, it's time to load things back in the boxes or suitcase and head home. It's always been
this way. Why should I expect things to be different this time?
I know she laughs at me when she see's what I take with me. It looks like work, not relaxation.
But for me, reading a new book, working on a new sermon or Bible study is what helps me chill.
Sure, I get in the hot tub or take in the sights of the Smokies, but most of all, I'm seeking some
down time away from downtown, while I'm away. Got that?
I just hope I can get all of these things in the truck of our car. Maybe I should of rented a
U-haul instead!

Memory Lane

As my wife and I prepare to leave Monday morning for the Smoky Mountains, many memories of my childhood come flooding into my mind. Like the times when my parents took four young boys off to the Smokys for a few days. We rode in an old un-air conditioned car along two lane roads. There were no interstates to travel and to top that, there were no McDonalds and very few motels along the way. But we had a ball each and every time. We wouldn't have been very far down the road when I started asking Dad if we could stop and get a motel because I said I was tired. Then, whenever we did stop and get a motel, I'll be the first one out of the car and running up and down the lawn. Whenever I saw water by the side of the road , I'll ask if we could stop and go swimming. To this day, I can't understand why Dad didn't pull over and take me up on the idea! I guess that's enough of Memory Lane for now. But I have an idea I will be taking a long look back down Memory Lane before much longer because there's still plenty of time to make plenty more memories.

TWO OR THREE THINGS

While we were in Nashville yesterday I bought a new book to take with me to Pigeon Forge next week. It is by Eugene H. Peterson, The Jesus Way. While I'm there, I plan to work on a Bible study I'll be doing for three Wednesday nights in July at State Street United Methodist Church. The theme of the study will be: "Survival Guides for the Soul." I can hardly wait to get there and get to work. It may seem strange to use the word work while being away to relax, but that's the way I relax. I pretty well know what I want to say in the study, so it won't be difficult to do. Besides, it gives me a good excuse not to go down the mountain with my wife to go shopping. Like Nehemiah, I can say, "I can't come down, I've got work to do." I'll let you know how things go if I don' go. For now, I hope to get two or three things done at the chalet: read, work on the study and relax. Sounds like a plan to me. Now if I can just do it.

DO YOU STAND OUT?

My wife and I were shopping in a bookstore in Nashville today when I heard a laugh. I knew who it was without even looking. Although it has been awhile since last seeing her, I knew her laugh. When I turned to look, I saw my wife was talking to this lovely young lady. I was right. It was exactly who I thought! Is there something that identifies you in a crowd? Your giggle? Your sneeze? Your talk? Family and friends know you so well that you can't hide if they are around. I have a brother who has a cough that lets me and others know he is around. My Father has a sneeze that shakes the room he is in. As for myself? I was with someone today I hardly even know and she called me a clown. Maybe. Maybe not. All because I said something funny doesn't mean that that's how I'm identified. Yet, it's strange that this stranger may have it the target. What do you say?

LOOK WHAT I FOUND

On April 28, 2003 I wrote some words in a book I was reading. I was sitting in a rocking chair at a Chalet we were renting for a few days. After LEAVING the day to day routine I found myself: LOOKING, not at my watch, but at the mountains, sky, etc. I also found myself LISTENING to the sounds of silence. As I LOAFED, I relaxed in body and spirit. I found myself LAUGHING a lot. I was able to let the Lord take a LOAD OFF for He is the greatest weight lifter of all! After a few days and nights, it was time to LEAVE. The title of the book I was reading is, OVERCOMING OVERLOAD. It was a tool in my hand that helped heal a hurting heart. God provided the space and the scenery, all I had to do was "be still and know that God is God." When I wasn't working it worked for me. What words would you write down for where you are and how you feel right now? Maybe you need to let the LORD help you overcome the overload in your LIFE. Start now, not tomorrow.

A MAY GET - AWAY

In a few days my wife and I are taking a few days to stay at a chalet near Gatlinburg, TN.. Just give me a rocking chair, coffee and a couple of good books to read and I'll be a happy camper! I can't count the hours I've spent looking out at the mountains from a porch in the Smokys. It is so relaxing for reading, reflecting and just slowing down. Before I can slow down though, I've got to go get a new book or two to read while away. That won't be much trouble since I already have a book I want to buy and read asp. My problem is wanting to read it before we even get to Gatlinburg! I will have to hide it from myself or put a "Wet Paint" sign on it to remind me to keep my hands off it till I'm in the right place, at the right time. I think I can wait till Monday when we will get to Gatlinburg. It won't take long for me to settle in and start looking at the mountains and sky and digging deep into yet another book. Since it will be May, I may even get up off the rocking chair and go some where with my wife if it means getting a good meal. You know, reading and relaxing can get a man real hungry!

INSIDE AND OUT

After preaching for a friend yesterday, my wife and I ate at a near by restaurant. We almost failed to find it due to front of the building. It is located downtown near the courthouse and other buildings. It isn't much to look at from outside. It isn't decorated to draw people to it at all. But inside, it is like being in a fine restaurant in New York City. The food is what draws people to this tiny place to dine. It was well worth the price and the trouble to find it. A number of years ago I met a man who wasn't all dressed up in his Sunday's best. He wore faded blue jeans and a flannel shirt. He wore a cap to cover his gray hair and old worn out shoes. But when I sat down with him over coffee I learned things that I had never known before. While Marvin hadn't finished school, he was one of the smartest men I've ever met. I could listen to him for hours as he shared from the School of Hard Knocks. To hear him talk about things, you would of thought he was at the top of his class. He proved what that small restaurant offers, you can't always tell a book by it's cover. I'm sure glad I didn't miss meeting Marvin!

A POST IT NOTE

My wife told me this morning that the clothes lines out back needed to be painted black. After I had painted one of them I was cleaning the brush when she asked if I was going to paint both of them. I had done only one. Job done. right? Wrong! Half a job doesn't get the job done. I got out the paint and brush and finished the job. I have to admit that it does look lots better than it had. I know there is a "to-do" list somewhere around here but I keep covering it up so I will forget the other things that need attention. Speaking of attention, I'm sure I will get more than I want if I don't get up and get these black spots off my face, arms and hands. Sure hope we have something to do that job! Her list includes: repair and put the bird house back up (on a pole), paint the door coming in from the garage, get the whirly birds out of the gutters, etc. My list includes: take a nap, read a book, take the puppy to the dog park, take a nap, etc. I like my list more than hers because hers has more of the more.

"I'M BACK!"

I need a GPS so I can find my blog. When you get my age you forget where you leave things. It has been awhile since I’ve done a blog because I couldn't remember to remember. My daughter served as my GPS so that I could get back to blogging. I've missed it even if you haven't missed me. So much has happened since I wrote my last post. My wife turned sixty and got a tattoo. I have preached twice. I have taken lots of nice naps. You know, a man has to do what a man has to do. I just can't remember what I was going to do. Not really. This is just a test to see if anyone out there in Blog Land reads my stuff. If so, let me know or I will stop stuffing the stuff. If you like what I say, be nice and tell me...........sooooon!

A LIFE WELL LIVED

I took my wife and youngest brother to Columbia to celebrate my Dad's 95th birthday Monday.
While we were there, Dad read his birthday cards, welcomed family and friends, ate and sang
some songs. It is an amazing thing to see a man who was told a few years ago that he needed
heart surgery, still surviving without it and, going strong for the shape he is in. His youngest
sister is across the hall and having a tough time staying alive.
My Dad's Dad died when he was 94 and five other siblings have died over the past years. Dad
has a desire to live a good life more than a long life. He wants to give God teh glory with how he
lives his life. Hundreds of people who echo the words of Jesus, "Well done, thy good and faithful
servant." My desire is to live my life like Dad is doing because I feel that is what being a Christ
like person is all about. Happy Birthday, Dad!

CATCHING ON

One of the three dogs that dwell at our house ran away last night. I've tried to catch her five or six times but she always walks off. I'm too slow to catch even a walking dog! This morning I tried to lure her by feeding two other dogs some food. They were begging for it so much so that they were jumping up for it. While she watched what was going on, she chewed on an artificial bone while the other two dogs had the real stuff. Beats me! She is a stubborn dog with a mind of her own which says to me, "I'll let you catch me when I'm good and ready, old man!" News flash! Even while writing this my wife just informed me that the dog is in her crate! She simply walked up to her and she held up her wet paws as if to say, "I surrender! Don't shoot!" Maybe I need to stop trying to catch these dogs whenever they take off on me. They sure don't let me catch them! Maybe I'm catching on! Now I need to catch some rest after all I've had to do already this morning. I just hope my wife doesn't catch me before I can fall back in bed!

COLUMBIA, WE HAVE A PROBLEM

My Father will turn 95 next Monday. His Father was 94 when he died. Dad has a younger sister who lives across the hall from his room the retirement home. Dad expects his four sons to show up Monday to celebrate his birthday in Columbia. Columbia, we have a problem! Two of the four can't be there then due to circumstances. And the two of us who live in Bowling Green can celebrate Dad's birthday on Dad's birthday. So, we will spread out the celebration. It seems to me that Dad would like that since he’ll have more visits over more days. One son's daughter is to deliver a baby either on Dad's birthday or close to it. One son's wife works and can't get away on Monday, so they will see Dad on Sunday. All in all, all of us will celebrate in Columbia the birthday of someone who will just have to wait awhile longer. Columbia, the problem will go away before Dad can blow out 95 candles. That's what I would worry about if it were me turning 95!

WARNING: GUARD DOG!

I think I'm going to attach a sign to our back door, WARNING : GUARD DOG! When I walked in the back door after doing some yard work, I saw something small and brown. Our daughter's dog, Derby, was snuggled up sound asleep with his head on her shoes. I wish I had a picture of it that I could post it on the outside door with words of warning: GUARD DOG! There are two Huskies outside but all they do is bark and lick. Lots of help they are! Derby is like a shadow. He wants to go wherever you go. We had a cocker spaniel named Rusti several years ago who went wherever we went. She was a shadow too! Derby brings back many memories of Rusti as he romps around the house right at your feet. Derby has learned to jump up on the couch and chairs already and even jumps from one into my lap whenever there's a snack of some sort. It may take awhile before the little feller is jumping up onto the bed but I have an idea he will do it before we want him to do it! So, if you drop by to see us, be on guard for the guard dog. Don't trip over our sleeping guard dog. He might bark at you and then lick you to death! You've been warned!

SETH

I have a new four-legged cane to walk with as of this morning. I think it will give me more of a
secure feeling when I'm walking. I've named it Seth. Cain and Able had a younger brother named Seth. Seth represents a new start. That's what this cane means to me. It is a new start
in seeking to walk more and better. Cain and Able may not see as much action since Seth has shown up. I may keep the three of them in different places so that I will always have one wherever I go in and around our house. I just hope I can remember where I put them. They have a tendency to hide from me. I'm just going to have to do better now that there's a new boy in town! Seth seems to be glad thus far with walking with me. He did have his feelings hurt on
our way home from Nashville when I left him in the back seat and took Able with me into
Subway. He didn't get after me when I had him walk with me into our house when we got home.
I think things are going to be fine. In fact, I'm going to have him walk me to the bedroom so I
can take a nice nap after a very busy day thus far. That's a great start for Seth!

IT'S A TOSS UP!

If someone had told me a few years ago that I would be tossing a frisbee at a puppy when I was 63, I would have laughed at them. But today I was doing just that! I was tossing the top of a coffee container like a frisbee for Derby to run after. He loves to chase after it as it floats in the air above his little head. Then he loves to take off with it so that I have to try to catch him. I can't! What I can do is walk towards him and pick both the puppy and the freebie up. Then I try to catch something, my breath! I am hoping to drop some weight as Derby and I play in the back yard from time to time. He has a buddy named Sandy next door that he likes to play with too. I have to keep Derby on a leash or he and Sandy would take off down the street. That would really take my breath away. The two huskies would love to get in the game if they were not held down. Talk about something I hope I never see, that's it! I nicknamed the two of them: Dirty Dog and Dancing Dog. Goes right along with Derby Dog, doesn't it? Derby Pie is his name but I tend to call him Little Bits. But not much longer. Derby Pie is getting heavy as he grows up. He can already jump up on the couch or chair in the family room and he is getting taller and longer almost over night it seems. Having him around is almost like having a grand child. After all, Derby is a grand dog!

FROG LEGS

My wife and I enjoyed being with some friends last night at a restaurant near where we live. We were not too impressed with the young woman who was our waitress. She seemed to be out of sorts the whole time we were there. That got us to talking about waiters. Bob told about a waitress being asked if she had frog legs. She started lifting up her skirt saying, "Let me look and see." He then told about asking the waitress if he could get something off by paying cash. She told him, "I'll take everything off but my ear rings." We laughed so much that we could hardly talk! I told them I always give a big tip to the waitress. Like: Brush your teeth daily. Wear clean shoes to work. “Thank the Lord, I have yet to be slapped! By the way, the waitress got a good tip.

SPEAKING OF MYSTERY

Spring will be here before I finish reading a book about Spring. Spring starts Tuesday evening and I need to start re-reading this book I started a few weeks ago. What happened was that I put the book about Spring back on the shelve and started reading a mystery by Stephen White. Whenever White comes out with a book, I have to have it. I like to read his books before going to sleep at night. His mysteries get my mind off of things that I usually read (spiritual stuff). I like to try to solve the mystery before coming to the end of the book. I also like to read what White has to say because the wife of the main character has MS. In Dry Ice, she is struggling with what it's doing to her as stress builds up in her work. While I don't like the language that shows up every once in awhile, I like the way White writes. I am about half way through this new book and I'm finding that it to be one of his best. I love a great mystery and one of the greatest mysteries of all is how the drab, dark days of Winter can come to life with so much color when Spring springs forth in all it's glory!

GONE TO THE DOGS

My niece brought her dog, Tucker, to our house last night for us to watch over for the weekend. Tucker is a large dog beside Derby. Tucker is a large dog next to two Huskies. Taking Tucker outside this morning, he leaped forward and got away from me. The good news about the bad news is that Tucker was fenced in and couldn't get out. He had Derby, Memphis and Keyara barking as well as two other dogs next door. It was something else! I knew I didn't dare try to catch and hold Tucker by myself. I may be dumb but I'm not stupid! So I waited for the troops to show up to get Tucker back in the house. Tucker and Derby are sleeping as I write this post and the other dogs are outside wondering where did that great big dog go? I know where I've gone, I've one to the dogs. I also know where I'm going next, back to bed! Good night from the place where I keep hearing, "You're in the dog house now" in the back of my mind. I wonder why?

MY MISTAKE

I made a big mistake last night when I got up to lead a Bible study for a friend. This pastor had his wife introduced me after a meal together of forty to fifty people. She told the people that her husband told her to tell them, "Don't believe a thing this man says." After she sat down, I made a mistake in not saying, "I think your pastor's wife is the best looking of all the preacher's wives’ and, Jesus didn't die on a cross and come back from the dead!" But I thought of what I should have said after it was too late. Paul knows that I love to kid and tell jokes. I think he was trying to warn them to buckle their seat belts because I was such a hoot. He is right, of course. While most of what I said was very serious, I just had to throw in humor every now and again. They responded well to what was said and we all got out alive. I doubt that Paul will ever use me again or that they would want him to do such a thing, but I will be ready next time. Make no mistake about that!