TOP TEN THINGS TO DO AT A YARD SALE

Our neighborhood is having a big yard sale this Saturday. Hundreds of people will seek to find something worth taking home. Not me. I'm trying to get rid of it! My cup runneth over already with things we've had year after year after year. To top that, one of my brothers is bringing stuff over to my yard to sale! What am I to do?
Here are my thoughts on the matter. What do you think?

My Top Ten Things To Do At a Yard Sale:

10. Buy NEW old stuff & add to the stuff we already have.
9. Put a "For Sale" sign on my brother's car. "What do I hear? Who will give me $___?" SOLD!
8. Have my son's two dogs bark so loud everyone leaves. Want to buy two dogs? "Here Memphis! Here Keyara!”
7. Give away free garbage bags full of things I have that you've always wanted. Yes, I said free, friend.
6. Play some of my sermons while people purchase things. Someone may get under conviction & buy all kinds of stuff.
5. Just stand in the yard and watch people. They can be very entertaining. It's free too!
4. Watch cartoons all morning. I get the lazy-boy!
3. Sell tapes of my sermons. Two for the price of one. What a bargain, brothers and sisters.
2. Hide in the basement. Wait, we don't have one.
1. Go see my best buddies, Barnes & Noble. They have great coffee! And, I can bring home some really good books.

John, you're fired!

I was asked to preach for several Sundays at a small church until they receive a new pastor. I have all the sermons ready in my brief case and ready to preach. They include the sermon, the text, the songs to sing and one or two other things. Lots of thought. Lots of work. Lots of prayers.

Well, today my District Supertindent called and in essence told me what Donald Trump would tell me, "John, you're fired!" Not really. I'm just not needed. The church has a new pastor who starts Sunday. So I will simply put my sermons away and hope to preach them somewhere else some other time.

I'm delighted that the small church has a new pastor and that they don't have to wait. I'm also glad that I can sit with my family at church Sunday and listen to my Pastor share the Good News of the Gospel. Life goes on. I'm a survivor.

OPIE AT THE OCEAN

Late one afternoon as we watched three boys playing by the seaside. All of the sudden one of the boys hit a sea gull as it was flying off. Sad to say, it didn't fly long. It went down to its death. The boys were afraid. What would their parents have to say about this tragic thing? What would their parents do?

All this afternoon drama reminded me of an episode on Andy Griffith where Opie killed a small bird with a sling shot. He wondered what his father would say and what he would do. Opie learned a lesson from what he did. I hope those three boys learned their lesson too. I know I learned my lesson. You can get the Gulf Shore blues real quick. How did they handle things? How do I handle things? How do you handle things?

ABOUT THAT BOOK

One of the books I bought and read while I was on the 7th story balcony was Having a Mary
Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver. As I read the book I realized I was reading about myself. I, like Martha, stay too busy when I need to simply stop and rest and be restored. I have an idea I'm in good company with others who have the habit of not pushing the "pause" button on their souls. Hold up your hand if I'm writing about you. Yes, I see that hand are there others?

GULF SHORES GREAT!

My wife and I are just back from spending a week on the Gulf Shores because some friends allowed us to stay at a condo for free. The Gulf Shores are great and so are Steve and Susan!

I made a mistake and wrote Gulf Shoes when I started this post. Then I realized I was right about being wrong. You don't have to wear shoes on the sandy beaches. Fact is, I only wore shoes to go out to eat and when my wife had me go shopping with her. What a waste of time when I could of been walking on the beach or back on the 7th story balcony reading a good book.
Now that's what I call great!!!