TOP TEN THINGS TO DO AT A YARD SALE

Our neighborhood is having a big yard sale this Saturday. Hundreds of people will seek to find something worth taking home. Not me. I'm trying to get rid of it! My cup runneth over already with things we've had year after year after year. To top that, one of my brothers is bringing stuff over to my yard to sale! What am I to do?
Here are my thoughts on the matter. What do you think?

My Top Ten Things To Do At a Yard Sale:

10. Buy NEW old stuff & add to the stuff we already have.
9. Put a "For Sale" sign on my brother's car. "What do I hear? Who will give me $___?" SOLD!
8. Have my son's two dogs bark so loud everyone leaves. Want to buy two dogs? "Here Memphis! Here Keyara!”
7. Give away free garbage bags full of things I have that you've always wanted. Yes, I said free, friend.
6. Play some of my sermons while people purchase things. Someone may get under conviction & buy all kinds of stuff.
5. Just stand in the yard and watch people. They can be very entertaining. It's free too!
4. Watch cartoons all morning. I get the lazy-boy!
3. Sell tapes of my sermons. Two for the price of one. What a bargain, brothers and sisters.
2. Hide in the basement. Wait, we don't have one.
1. Go see my best buddies, Barnes & Noble. They have great coffee! And, I can bring home some really good books.